Bullying has recently been in the national media spotlight and with good reason. I suffered mercilessly at the hands of bullies when I was in middle school. My life was a living hell for two years and some of those scars will never heal. At 27 years old, some of the memories still sting as if they happened yesterday. I promised myself that if my son was ever bullied, there would be hell to pay. Although I could never, never hurt a child... the thought has crossed my mind to handle a bully the way Rebecca De Mornay's character does in "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle".
However, I am currently stuck in a bit of a bullying conundrum. Bullying usually occurs when the child is older and behind the backs of adults. This situation is very different. Aidan is almost 3 years old. He is a good kid and extremely social. When he previously went to daycare, he was the child that all of the other kids gravitated to and is generally adored by all... kids, adults, teenagers and the elderly. We went to the playground in our apartment complex about a month ago and Aidan was trying to play with some of the other kids. They were all between the ages of 4 and 7 but he was comparable in physical size and vocabulary skills to all of the other children. The other kids seemed willing to play with him and let him into their circle but they had to go through their ring leader.... Bhaya. Bhaya is five years old with long, thick blond hair that is always a bit unkempt. There were about six children in the group and I was the only parent around. Usually when there is a parent around, the kids tend to keep their meanness in check, but not this little girl. She decided to start calling Aidan names and belittling him for wearing a Spiderman t-shirt. I was stunned. I chalked it up to kids being kids, but I did see how hurt my baby was because he isn't used to being rejected.
I took him home, made him lunch and tried to make him feel better. The following weekend, we went back to the playground and she was there again and just as snotty and mean as she was the previous week. I know that Aidan can't be liked by everyone, but this child's intentional mean streak was really starting to bother me. The next weekend I was taking him to the playground and I saw the little devil on the slide and decided to walk Aidan over to the next neighborhood to play at their playground. There we met two adorable little boys and their very friendly parents. The boys were 2 and 4 and had a great time playing with Aidan. Their mom and I discussed potty training, naps and other pitfalls in raising toddlers.
Last weekend I took Aidan to the pool for the first time this season. We were having a great time. Some of the kids we were used to seeing at the playground were there and were friendly with Aidan. After about 45 minutes, Bhaya shows up at the pool with one of her friends and her friend's mom. She's in the pool for about five minutes before she locks in on Aidan and calls him a "baby" and makes a few other derogatory comments directed at him. When she said them, she glared right at me.
I really don't know what to make of this girl. She has the audacity to tease my son but to do it right in front of me. I have never seen her parents and don't know if she reacts this way because he is always with his mom or what. I also don't know how to handle it. I can't say anything to her because it is the word of an adult against the word of a child. I don't want it to look like I'm harassing the girl, but I want my son to be able to go to the playground or pool without fear of harassment by a dirty blond mafia don.
Ryan and I have talked about it and his suggestion is for me to wait until I see her with her parents which should happen eventually in our small complex. When I see them, I should say something to them about their daughter's behavior. I'm just not sure if that's the best way to proceed.
If anyone has advice, I would greatly appreciate it.
No comments:
Post a Comment