The Seven Year Wish

Today is my 7th wedding anniversary. I really can't believe it has been that long but I also can't remember what my life was like before Ryan was a part of it. In our seven years as husband and wife, we have been through a lot but in the past year we have been through more storms than usual. In the last 12 months we've been through a job loss, two job changes, Aidan's terrible twos, unimaginable money woes, health problems and frequent changes to our schedules and routines. Thankfully, things are finally starting to slow down (fingers crossed). Although we have had some of the worst fights we have EVER had in the last year I really think we've come out much stronger as a unit. Before our epic disaster year began, we were not in a happy place as a couple. We were both working jobs we hated and we took a lot of our bitterness and frustration out on each other. Ryan wrapped himself up in Aidan 100% to a point where I didn't exist so I withdrew from both of them.

Ryan lost his job just three weeks before our anniversary last year so we weren't able to celebrate and frankly there really wasn't a marriage to celebrate. But, as we have learned first hand, crisis brings out the best and worst in people. Going through Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas last year was so hard. I am a holiday person so it was extremely hard to be miserable last season when I would find myself wishing the holidays away. He pushed me through December and helped me make the best out of a hopeless situation. For most of the year, Ryan worked a job where we didn't have a single weekly day off together. For a couple like us that has one car and is pretty much joined at the hip, this was tough. I was angry and lonely a lot of the time even though I couldn't express how I felt. Yes, it was nice to spend weekends alone with my son and it helped us bond tighter but I missed having my husband around and being able to do things as a family.

So here we are on the other side of twelve months and in a much better place. Aidan has a routine and is back in daycare with his friends. Ryan has a better paying job and he doesn't have to work weekends. I love my job and because I'm not tied to the house on weekends I have been able to pick things back up with my cupcake business, which for the most part had been on hiatus since last August. We have family time again and are even getting a cheap second car. We have come a long way but we still have a long way to go to get back to our happy place as a couple. My wish for going in to our eighth year of marriage is that things continue to improve and that we can be content as individuals, as a couple, as parents and as a family.

A Sensory Memory

One of the things that I love most about being human is just how deeply our five senses are connected to our memories. The taste of a certain food, a familiar smell or an old song can instantly connect us to a time, place or person in our lives. These moments happen to me quite often and really seem to stop me in my tracks. Sometimes I am taken back to something significant in my life and other times, to something very minor but the memory is still a strong one.

This afternoon I was eating my lunch in the break room at work. I had my usual veggie burger and chips. The vending machine was out of the BBQ Fritos that I normally eat so my backup plan was the Harvest Cheddar Sunchips. I hadn't had Sunchips in months but within two bites a powerful memory came over me. Prior to this past September, my husband and I worked together for 4 years. For most of that time we hated our jobs but the highlight of our day was the fact that we go to eat lunch together every day. We usually had two choices of places to eat, Taco Bell and Subway. More often than not, we chose Subway. The ladies who worked there knew us and knew our orders. With our subs, my husband would usually get salt and vinegar chips but I would always get Sunchips. Lunchtime was our time. Our son was at daycare so it was our only time to just be together. We would take an hour out of the day to de-stress and vent about work and other frustrations.

Many couples say that working with their spouse is something they couldn't do because it would damage the relationship but I think that working together was a very positive thing for our relationship. It gave us a very clear understanding of our partner's stresses and the details of their job. Knowing each other this way allows for a level of understanding and empathy that truly connects a couple. So many things about our lives changed when we were forced to change jobs last fall. I often about the loss of pay and the loss of our weekends together but I never realized just how much those lunches meant to me until today.